Monthly Archives: April 2013

The First Black Date ……Then What?

Avid readers of black dating advice columns will probably be so sick of “First Black Date Dos and Don’ts”. Things such as what to do, where to go, proper etiquette, and so on.

But what about after the date? Is there proper “behaviour” as well? These are just some frequently asked questions by “regulars” of the black dating scene.

Actually, there are indeed some “post-first date don’ts”. You know, things one should avoid once the date is over. For simplicity, we have decided to divide these into “for the gents” and “for the ladies”.

As always, ladies first:

  1. Don’t be too easy. So okay, you like the bloke. Hold on a minute. Men like a little mystery. Give him just that. If he starts “getting intimate”, slow him down. Not because you don’t like him. But because you want to keep him. You must of course, make this clear—that you don’t want to rush.
  1. Don’t offer to foot the bill: Let him feel he’s in control. Men like it when they are “in charge”

 

  1. Don’t stop him when he offers to call you a taxi: So you like taking the train. If he insists on calling you a cab however, let him. This makes him feel more secure about simply letting you off on your own.

 

  1. Don’t announce your “success” just yet: It sure is tempting to let all your friends know how wonderful your black date went, right? Don’t do so just yet. Wait and see how things will turn out.

 

  1. Don’t fret if he doesn’t call at once. So he said he’d call. But hasn’t just yet. Give him time. He may be quite hesitant and shy as well. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

And for the blokes:

  1. If you don’t like her, don’t sugar coat it. Don’t go and tell her stuff like “you’re nice”. This is simply another way of telling her she’s not your type. And women know this all too well.

 

  1. Don’t tell her that she reminds you of dear old Mum. Nothing is worse for a woman. It’s got “pressure” written all over it.

 

  1. Don’t give her “the tongue”. You may want to give her a goodnight kiss. But make it a simple kiss. No funny stuff. Be a gentleman, ok chap!

 

  1. Never ever say “I’ll call you tomorrow” if you don’t intend to do so. In fact, don’t tell her when you’re going to call. Don’t even ask for her number if you have no intentions of getting to know her better—which includes calling her up. This won’t win you any “brownie points” my friend.

 

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Some things you may wish to keep in mind after the first date. These could spell the difference between a second date and having nothing at all. Happy black dating!

 

MMNBlack Member Of The Week.

Introducing Juanita

MMNBlackMem

I’m a fun loving and down to earth lady. I have an edgy sense of humour and need someone who can make me laugh. I’m known to be very cheeky, so someone who can handle/match that is attractive. I can be very serious when necessary and can be very strong willed.
I love to bake and luckily for me my love of baked treats doesn’t reflect on my hips too much – slim with curves…
I do have relatively high standards but definitely not high maintenance. I just like quality in all aspects of my life.
Are you a match?

Endlessly looking for your black love?

We are all looking for black love. As singletons, we all long for that special person to share our lives with. For someone we can love and who will love us in return.
There are however, some people who are endlessly looking for love. People who, despite having found someone to be with, are still searching. And at the rate they’re going, will most probably never stop. It isn’t because they haven’t found the “right person”. Rather, they are “addicted” to the feeling of being in love. You know, the tingling sensation, the rush, one gets when they see their love for the first few times. Or when the relationship is new. They are constantly searching for that feeling. And nothing more.

So how will one know if he or she is dating such a person? Or worse, is one of them?

  1. Someone who thinks that love is a romance novel. Cultural influences have affected the way we date. Movies, books, and so on have made us all a little romantic. That’s all fine and dandy. Fantastic even. Up to a certain point, that is. Some people however tend to mistake this feeling for love. They think that if that if the feeling is not there, it isn‘t love. The sad reality is that monotony and the demands of daily life can indeed cause this feeling to take a back seat. It doesn’t mean however that we’re not in love anymore. It just means we’re living in the real world. Sharing ups and downs. Or at least that’s how it is really supposed to be.
  2. Speaking of reality, the person usually tends to live the relationship in a “dramatic manner”. Full of tears, where pain seems to take center stage. Not that life is full of tears. Sometimes though, they will make something up just to add some spice.
  3. The person is constantly looking for the “ideal” mate. Someone who is perfect. Or who will see them as being perfect. The problem is that they will never find such a person. Nobody is perfect, remember?
  4. They are empty and need to “fill” their emptiness with someone. And normally, falling in love is their way of filling this emptiness. They look at their partners as being their “world”. This drives them to become selfish and want him/her to adore them. And only them.
  5. When things get boring, they get going. Whether we like it or not, every relationship tends to have a “lull”. A phase where we get so comfortable that it just becomes a routine thing. This is when such people tend to look around. Remember that they are looking for that feeling of “being in love”. And they don’t realise that they can easily find it with their partner. If only they try and rekindle the flames of romance.

So don’t be a victim. Better yet, don’t be one yourself. We are all looking for love. And when we do find, it, let’s treasure it.

Spring Clean Your Love Life

The clutter in your home environment affects your love life, especially when looking for love. Yes, that’s right. Studies have shown that your home environment can indeed affect other areas in your life, including romance, so spring clean your home and get ahead start with black dating.
While this may seem like some feng shui study (which it partly is), it does have a point. Think about it. Looking for love means searching for someone new to come into your life. But how can this person enter into your life if they can’t seem to find the “front door”, in a manner of speaking. They say a person’s home is a reflection of how they live their life outside. By the same token, a person’s home is actually a big part of who they are.

So before you venture into looking for love, you may want to try and fix up the following areas:

  • The front door: As mentioned earlier, this is where people would naturally enter. Although it was meant in a figurative manner, it can likewise apply in the literal sense. Having all sorts off clutter near the front door can cause one to trip over them upon entering a house or apartment, for instance. The same goes for your life – and your heart. You may have some “clutter” lying around your life such as some old girlfriend’s memory, some past hurts, and so on. Clean these up lest they cause the new lady in your life to trip over it. It may just be the reason for her not to enter at all. She will simply find it too hard. Or even painful.
  • The living room: This is where we normally entertain guests. Magazines, books, newspapers and other things lying around cause the room to look messy. These are a reflection of a person who is too lazy to even pick up his junk. When it comes to looking for love, this may mean someone who is likewise lazy to go the extra mile. Like checking spelling on a contact message sent to a potential match they saw online. Or make that date feel at ease.
  • The bedroom: Many people consider the bedroom as their very own private sanctuary. Where they can simply be themselves without fear of being ridiculed. This may likewise be a place where one’s deepest, darkest secrets are hidden. While we all have secrets, some of these may be quite “destructive”, preventing us from leading a “healthy” love life. Having past hurts that are too hard to handle may cause problems in your relationships later on. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to get some professional help. Someone who can help you get rid of these awful memories that are bringing you down.

You deserve the best, especially when looking for love on a black dating site. Before you can get the best however, you need to be at your best as well. So clean up whatever clutter there is in your home and in your life. Good luck!